The Battle for FHE

Monday is here, and that means it's time for Family Home Evening. It is a time set aside each week to sit down together as a family and have a spiritual lesson, sing some favorite songs, pray together, enjoy a fun activity, and of course, have treats. It is a time to simply be together as a family and strengthen those family ties around gospel centered themes. It is essential to have this time as our kids are going out into the world and facing who knows what. If you are doing Family Home Evening right, it should look something like this:

I cam from a family that did not always do Family Home Evening. It's OK, no one's family is perfect. I did decide though, that when I had a family of my own, I wanted to make it a focus to do it consistently. Fortunately for me, my wife came from a family that was pretty good at doing FHE regularly, so she was definitely on board with the idea of doing it. Once our first baby was born, we redoubled our efforts and tried really do it every week. We have had stretches where we haven't been as good as we should at doing it, but overall, I feel like we make a great effort. The problem is, we must not be doing it right. When we have FHE, it never looks like the above picture, instead, it looks like this:

OK, that may be a slight exaggeration, but it certainly rarely looks like the photo at the top. Let me paint the scene from last week for you. My wife had prepared a great lesson on the topic of our physical bodies being a gift from God. She had a slide show prepared and a game and everything. So we all sit in the front room to begin. And I use the term sit loosely. In any case, we were semi-gathered. It is about this time that my two oldest begin fighting over who will be doing the opening song and who will be picking the closing song. I don't know why the fight over this, because for the last 2 months it has been "I Love to See the Temple" for both the opening and closing song. Then they fight over who will be saying the prayer. Once we get through the prayer, which usually consists of one person saying the prayer, while everyone else spends the time telling each other to stop playing or to be quiet. Once the prayer was finished, I turned the time over to my wife who went into the lesson. About this time, Jak returned to playing with whatever toys he was playing with before. Lucy decides this is a perfect time to practice her wrestling moves on Maren, and Johnny and Eliza are "trying" not to get pulled into it. They are, of course, unsuccessful. I spend the entire lesson trying to get at least the older kids to pay better attention and to get Lucy off of her little sister. Halfway through the lesson, my wife looks up at me with that look that says, "should we just bag it for the night?" I have my two arms full with two very squirmy little girls, but I try to calm say, "Let's just finish the lesson." It's not easy, but somehow we make it through. We even get the three older kids to participate in the game, to varying degrees. We then close with a quick prayer, and Jak bolts for the kitchen to get the treats he has picked out for the family this week (it's his permanent FHE assignment). Erica and I just look at each other, completely exhausted and I think we are both thinking "At least it's only once a week."

I have a sinking suspicion that we are not the only ones who experience FHE 's like this. I think part of it for us is that our kids are all still so young. I am sure another part of it is how we set the expectation and what we allow them to get away with. Either way, I often find myself asking myself, "Self, why do we even try to have FHE each week? It just doesn't seem worth it." Maybe you've asked yourself the same question before. Maybe you have decided that it will be a great thing to do with your kids when they get older, but right now, they are simply too young. Maybe you can try again when they're like 30ish or so. Maybe you feel like you must be the worst parents ever for feeling that way, and what is wrong with you? Why can't you get this figured out? Well, let me tell you a secret. You are not alone in feeling any of these things. So, the first step to winning this battle is to stop beating yourself up over it.

That's right, I called this a battle. I am convinced that anything that has to do with strengthening our families in this day and age is a literal battle. There are forces at work who would see the family destroyed, and we must constantly have our guards up and be ready for the battle. FHE is no exception. There will be a million reasons and excuses to not do it. We have to remain focused on the reasons why we do it and keep doing it.

Whenever I find myself asking why we keep trying, I always come up with 2 reasons. The first reason is because it's a commandment. The latter-day prophets have counseled and commanded us to have FHE. They have spoken about how it will strengthen our families and our children and help them to face the outside world. Sometimes, following any commandment is hard. This applies to the big ones, like thou shalt not kill, down to the seemingly small and easy ones like FHE. I have found that on some Monday evenings, it is even harder than usual to sit down and hold FHE. There have been some times when I have let it go, and we have not had it. There have been other times when we have gathered any way. I can tell you that each time we gather any way, we are spiritually fed somehow, and it becomes worth it. Sometimes, the thing that gets me to do it when it is hard is knowing that we are commanded to do it.

The second reason is that the kids hear and listen more than we think. Recently, our bishopric asked us to speak in our ward's sacrament meeting. They even wanted the kids to speak. Erica sat down with each one of the kids prior to the meeting and asked them what they wanted to say in their talks. They each had something different they wanted to say, but each of them shared something I know we had discussed in FHE. They may have heard it in primary too, but I know we covered it in FHE. Each of them stood up and delivered their talks and it was awesome. In that moment, I was grateful for Family Home Evening. Of course, after they had delivered their talks, Jak began running laps around the pulpit. The good news there was that running laps during a spiritual message was also something Jak has learned in FHE.

I guess, for me, the point is that FHE does work. We may never look like the family in the top picture, but I know the words are sinking in and they are getting something out of it. They may not always sit perfectly and listen and hang on to our every word, but heaven help us if we forget FHE. The kids won't let us. They expect it on Mondays, and I think they look forward to it. Our FHE is never perfect, but I doubt anyone has a perfect FHE all the time. I don't think that's the point. What our FHE is, though, is an opportunity for us to be together as a family. To put aways the iPads and computers and any other distractions, and just be the 7 of us. That's what it's all about, and for that, I am grateful. Just remember that this week when the kids are roughhousing through your awesome lesson. Something is sinking in, at the very least they know that being together is important. Sometimes, that's enough.

Sunday Night Flicks: Back to the Future

In a continuing effort to expose my children to more than just the stuff that's on today, we are choosing a different movie each week that we think they might kind of enjoy. This week was Back to the Future. I would like to take full credit for selecting this movie and making my kids sit down and watch. This was an absolute favorite when I was a kid. It was just so cool. I wanted to be Marty McFly when I grew up. Who wouldn't want to be him? He was just so cool. In fact, I distinctly remember a period of my life where I was slightly angry with my parents because they did not name me something cool like Marty. Or maybe Jason, but that's not related to this at all, so I probably shunt have mentioned it. Not only was the premise to the film cool- Kid gets accidentally sent back to the past, where he runs into his parents and has to find a way to get the two of them together and find a way to get back to the future- but the way he went back in time was awesome. He was trying to get away from Libyan terrorists in a Delorean that is also a time machine. I was convinced that the Deloran was the coolest car ever when I was a kid. When Doc mentions something about if you're going back in time, you might as well go back in style, he wasn't lying. I loved all three BTTF movies. They really were such a big part of my growing up. For all of those reasons, I wish I had thought of this movie being our second attempt at Sunday Night Flicks, but it was my wife's idea. And of course it was, because, well, my wife is cooler than yours. When she suggested it, I was totally on board with the idea.

My kids loved last week's Sunday Night Flick, so when I suggested doing it again, they were totally stoked. This time, they didn't care what the movie was. I told them anyway. Johnny thought it sounded awesome, while Eliza just asked if it was funny. I told her it was, and then hoped at least some of the jokes wouldn't be over her head. Fortunately for me, anytime someone falls over while trying to put pants on, and they have purple underwear, she thinks it's hilarious (it happens more often than you'd think). Overall, the kids liked the movie, although it took them a little bit to get the concept of time travel, which was surprising since they have watched so much Doctor Who with me. Maybe I should have explained that the car was like Marty's TARDIS. Maybe that would have caught them on to it more quickly.

I wish I could say that this week went as smoothly as last week, but unfortunately, it didn't. Jak was not interested at all in the movie, which is fine. He usually isn't, and we don't try to force him. That wasn't why it didn't go as smoothly. No, the problem this time was equipment. I think our Blu ray player is getting older and had been well used. I mean it is going on 5 years, which for cheap tech nowadays, is more than a life time. It had a hard time reading the disc. We would get a little bit into the film, and then it would just freeze. We tried cleaning the disc and starting it from where we left off, and then it would just freeze again. Now, if you have ever been in a similar situation as this, with 5 children, then you'll know how well kids remain patient. I mean my kids just sat there quietly while we tried to get it to work and politely asked to help. And then monkeys began flying out of my posterior (Garth). What really happened is that the kids were so excited about the whole thing, that when the movie stopped working, they had not choice but begin running around the family room and jump on our sectional and start our very own version of the latest WWE pay per view. That's what kids do when they are expecting to be entertained, and all of a sudden the entertainment stops working. The good news is that I actually find all of that chaos very therapeutic and calming so it really helped me work through trying to get the Blu ray player to work without getting frustrated at all. After messing with it for 20 minutes, and just before the kids' main event, which was going to have Johnny facing off against Jak for the Dietz Family Heavyweight Championship, I decided to just download the movie from iTunes. Which worked like a charm.

This is how good Back to the Future is: I started the movie off where we had left off, the kids immediately sat down and were quiet and glued again to the TV. That is being written, by the way, with no sarcasm. That is honestly what happened. That is the mark of an exceptional film, at least by our standards. It's like this: I would give that movie 2 out of 5 kids- in other words it got 2 of my 5 kids to sit down and watch it. Forget stars, that's how I rank movies. How many of my children will the movie hold captivated for the length of the movie? If it's less than 3, it's not worth my time. This movie got 4 out of 5 kids sitting and watching it. We have only come across a few 5 kid movies: My Neighbor Totoro, Frozen, and Hal's Moving Castle. Those are truly magical films because they keep the other kids sitting and watching, and Jak is even interested. 4 out of 5 isn't bad, though. Even my little 2 year-old was just sitting on my lap for the whole movie and was glued to it. So, despite the 20 minute forced intermission, it worked out well.

Now how's this for a truly geeky moment: As I was watching the movie, we had just had Stake Conference and one of the speakers had spoken about Family History. So, as I was watching BTTF, I kept thinking, this a really good endorsement for the importance of Family History. Marty had a whole new respect for his parents as he got to know them. It made me want to go out and do my own Family History. I just have to remember where I parked my time machine...

Jak-isms: I don't do Well with Change

Jak was facing a real challenge at the beginning of this year. He had just finished his first year in primary, and he was loving life as a Sunbeam. He even loved the Sunbeam theme song and would often pick it for our family home evenings. When he did, and we sang it, it was always with vigor. He loved his teachers in his Sunbeams class and he loved his classmates. After a year, he finally had this whole primary thing down. He was finally comfortable. This was both good and bad, and ultimately what was leading to his challenge. Jak likes being comfortable. He likes a routine. He likes when what happens this Sunday is the same thing that happens every Sunday. He does not like when it all changes. We know this about Jak, so we began to prepare him in November for the change that we knew was coming in January, hoping that having knowledge beforehand would help to begin to cope with it all now, and be ready for the change, and maybe even embrace it.

The week leading up to the big change, we really pushed it hard. We reminded him everyday that the change was coming, but that it was a good change, an exciting change. About Thursday or Friday, Jak had had enough. He was tired of hearing about his new class and how great it would be, and he just cracked. He got angry at me when I brought it up again. I asked him what was wrong, and at first he wouldn't look at me. If I tried to position myself so he was looking at me, he would just rotate himself so he wasn't. Finally, I asked him again what was wrong, and he answered. In his quiet little Jak voice, he mumbled, while looking at the floor, "Daddy, I just don't do well with change." That may have been an understatement, and something we all knew. The important thing, though, was that he knew. He recognized in himself that he doesn't do well with change.

When I say he doesn't like when things are different, when things change up all of a sudden, you're probably thinking, well duh! Who does like constant change? No one really enjoys it when things change, but we all learn to adapt, and sometimes we even appreciate it. That's not Jak. One might argue that he's still a kid, so it's pretty typical, and maybe that's true too, but I have four other kids, and they all deal with change a lot better than Jak does. Let me give you some examples of how Jak copes with change, or doesn't.

Jack goes to bed at pretty much the same time every night. We don't have to put him in bed, he just goes. He walks into his bedroom and climbs under his Superman blanket, the only one he will sleep with, and lays his head down on his pillow pet, the only pillow he will use, and goes to sleep. Jak also gets up at the same time each morning. Unfortunately for us, that time is 5:00. Well, I should say, unfortunately for my wife, because Jak won't let anyone else get him a drink, or help him get dressed or do anything. Only Mom. Jak only likes to wear Superman shirts. No other superheroes, especially not Batman. And the examples go on and on. He doesn't just not like change, he lives in a world where change doesn't happen. Or at least he would like to think he does.

The truth is, none of us lives in a world where change does not happen. We all live in a world where change happens constantly. There is no way around it. Jak has to learn how to adjust, but how do we help him learn that? When he is faced with change, especially sudden change, it isn't just a grumpy reaction, it can be an all out temper tantrum. He goes into this mode where he almost forgets that the rest of the world exists, maybe even that he exists. He just cries and moans, and he doesn't stop until, well he stops. You can't distract him from it or really do anything to make it better. You just have to wait and ride it out. That's all you can do. That makes it tough.

If we know the change is coming then we can help him prepare for the change, but sometimes we don't know when the change is coming. Besides that, Jak can't keep throwing a fit every time something happens. I think on some level he knows this. That's why he recognizes that he doesn't do well with change, and he needs to change that. We just get stuck on how.  I guess the only thing we can do is just be patient with him and keep helping him through the changes.

Once he accepts whatever is new, he is fine. It's just getting him to that point. When he mentioned the other day that he didn't do well with change, it reminded me how special this little boy really is. Sometimes, we as parents forget how special each of our kids are when we find ourselves in moments like temper tantrums. I know I do. But this was a little thing that reminded me that Jak doesn't quite see the world the same way most people do. And that makes him pretty fantastic.

Sunday Night Flicks: The Princess Bride

Some of my fondest memories growing up revolve around our old tube TV and VCR and sitting down with my family to enjoy a great movie. In fact, almost all of my favorite memories growing revolve around good movies and good company. There was something special about going on a Friday night to the local Video store to pick out a movie or two and then coming home and watching it. Staying up late, bringing out all the blankets from your bedroom and making a big pile of blankets and pillows on the floor, lying on your stomach, head perched on your hands, kicking your feet back and forth and watching those opening credits. It was almost always magical. In some ways, kids today will never experience that kind of magic. Their idea of movie night is sitting down with the iPad and selecting a show to watch on Netflix, and their movie night happens every night, and is rarely together. They will never know the joys of going to the video store, spending an hour at least trying to find the perfect film. I remember browsing for so long  thinking about trying something new, but often times, I would settle for an old favorite. My favorite movies were like good friends. I know that sounds sad, but I don't think I minded.

Sunday Night Flicks is my attempt to get some of that magic back. I think part of the magic was more than just the experience. Part of the magic were the great films we watched. I want my kids to experience those films. I want my kids to be the kids who look down on other kids who don't know classic films. I want my kids to appreciate a good film for being a good film, and not just the latest and greatest. In short, I want my kids to be geeks like me. I don't think it's too much to ask.

The Princess Bride was one of those old favorites for me. If I couldn't find something new at the video store, I would pick this film. Eventually, we owned it on VHS (ahhh, the glory of VHS), and the case quickly became battered and well worn as we watched it over and over again. I could recite almost the whole film from start to finish. I would run through the house with anything I could find that resembled a sword and yell, "Hello, you killed my father, prepare to die!" It was just such a big part of my childhood, that I felt it was an appropriate place to start with my kids. And, we had just bought it on iTunes and watched it for Valentine's. Let's be honest, there is nothing wrong with watching The Princess Bride two days in a row.

The key was finding a way to entice the kids to watch it. My kids rarely agree on anything when it comes to watching a movie. Plus, they rarely want to watch something not animated. We can talk about all the ways I have obviously failed as a parent later. I'm working on it. I started with my oldest daughter, Eliza. She was going to be the easiest sell. I asked her if she wanted to watch a princess movie. Before I could say anything else, she was on board. No problem. She loves all things princess, and I like to show her princess stuff that isn't Disney. Like Star Wars (wait...well it didn't start out as Disney).

Next, I had to convince my oldest child, Johnny. I wasn't sure how to do it. I knew he would love the movie, but he had to get past all the kissing and stupid stuff like that.  Then I remembered the way the Grandpa in the film convinced the Grandson to listen to the book. I asked Johnny if he wanted watch a movie with sword fighting, and giants, and a fire swamp, and pirates. He just kept getting more and more excited as I added more things to what was in the film. He was sold. The other kids would fall in line as long as the oldest 2 were on board.

Then we started the film. At first, I think Johnny agreed with the Grandson. He thought I had tricked him. Eliza loved the whole "As you wish" thing and started repeating it over and over. Except when I asked her to do something for me. Then she only remembered how to say no. Apparently she doesn't love me. Johnny was about to be bored and ready to walk away, about the time that Buttercup runs into the 3 kidnappers. Now, i am going to assume that most of you have seen this film, so I am going to be pretty free with any spoilers. Anyway, as they kidnapped the princess, Johnny was suddenly interested again. When she jumped overboard and the eels started circling her, both Johnny and Eliza were on the edge of their seats.

Johnny thought the Man-in-Black was pretty much the coolest guy ever as he beat Inigo in their awesome sword fight, and then when he beat Fezzik. Johnny thought he was pretty much a superhero at that point. Eliza was thrilled when he turned out to be Westley, because she thought he had died. I thought that was funny, because I always thought that it was pretty obvious that he was Wesley from the beginning. I guess not when you're a kid and this is the first time you have seen the show. They enjoyed every minute of the film, and something fun happened as we watched it. We all started out in different spots on our sectional, but by the end, we were all cuddled up together.

As I sat there with my kids all around me and my wife and I only separated by a two-year old, I thought about how good movies always did this when I was I kid. They brought us closer together. They gave us inside jokes to enjoy together, they gave us laugh and tear together and all-around gave us a common experience that brought our family together. That was what was happening now with my young family. It gave me a thrill to see that they were enjoying this movie as much as I did as a kid. After the movie, I asked they liked it. Eliza said yes right away. Johnny kind of shrugged his shoulders, like he didn't care or he was too cool for it, but the smile on his face gave it away. The best indicator was that they wanted to watch it again tonight.

I can't wait to show them more great movies. Each week will be anew experience and hopefully it will bring us closer together as a family. Hopefully, it will help my kids to appreciate really good movies with really good stories. Hopefully, it will make them want to tell really good stories. Who knows. Mostly, I hope it will be fun, and someday, maybe they will have blogs of their own where they write about stupid little stuff like this that always seems to mean so much more than the big stuff.

Why FaceTime was Invented

When I was a kid and my dad would travel for work, we would rarely hear much from him until he got back from the trip. At that time, most hotels charged quite a bit for long distance phone calls, so it was always impractical for him to call. It wasn't a big deal, it was just the way it was. Think about how it was before we had the phone. A phone call wasn't even possible.  You would wait for a letter at best. That would just stink. I don't know how they did it back then. I don't even know how my dad did it when he traveled.

Today, at the very least, most people probably have a cell phone with unlimited minutes or something. But the best thing for the traveling family man is FaceTime. It could be Skype too, they pretty much work the same. I believe, whatever else Apple might tell you, that the reason FaceTime was invented was so I can sit in my hotel room at night, and not just talk to my kids, but see them and interact with them almost as if I were in the same room with them. It is the highlight of my day. Let me paint a picture for you of what happened yesterday when I got to FaceTime with the family.

My wife was the first person I saw, which is always a treat. On the one hand, FaceTime makes me miss her less. On the other, it makes me want to be there with her even more. She was sitting with Lucy, who had come home form school in the afternoon and immediately stripped down to just her diaper (her daily routine), and was still sitting in just a diaper. She looked up and saw me on my wife's phone, and her face immediately lit up. She started waving and then we spent a couple of minutes making faces at each other, one of our favorite games. Lucy is deaf like her older brother and older sister, so I signed a little bit to her, and then I finally spoke and said something to Erica. That's when I heard a noise of excitement from another child.

Up to that point, Maren had been unaware of the fact that I had been on the phone, but when she heard my voice, she was immediately front and center. When we FaceTime, she becomes a phone hog. She doesn't like to share the phone with anyone. She is the youngest, and doesn't have much to say. She just smiles and laughs while I talk to her. Or she shows me whatever it is that she was doing, whether it be reading a book (Frozen, she loves Olaf) or playing a game on the iPad. She can't wait to show me. Sometimes, she just takes the phone, and then lies down with it and just looks at me. Whatever she does, it is cute and it makes me happy that I can see her.

After we somehow got the phone from Maren, it was Jak's turn. I didn't get tot see Jake the night before, because he had already gone to bed. Sometimes, when he's tired, he just goes of by himself and goes to bed. It's kind of the coolest trick any of my kids knows how to do. Last night, he was awake though, and had plenty to say. He told me every single thing he did that day. Everything. What he ate, what he played, what he watched, all of it. Simply because I asked him what he did that day. He told me in every detail, as only Jak could.

Throughout all of this, one little head kept popping up behind everyone. Eliza. She was not-so-patiently waiting for her turn. Popping in and out of everyone else's conversation. She doesn't tell me what she did during the day, or what she ate, she likes to make me guess. She hasn't quite learned that usually when people say "Guess what...", they're just starting a conversation. No, she thinks you're really supposed to guess. Sometimes, my wife has told me in advance some of the answers, like what they had for dinner or what special thing she brought home from school. If not, then I have to really try to guess a couple of times before I get the answer. It's funny. Usually, our conversation goes until I start asking her about her homework, which is never finished by that point, so she decides it's someone else's turn.

It has been funny with Johnny. On this trip, he has seemed more interested in the FaceTime than ever, and honestly, more interested in talking to me. Last night he wanted to know all about my favorite food. The night before, it was all about dinosaurs. I also showed some pictures of the cable cars I get to ride up to my hotel each night, and a picture of Nob Hill so he could get some idea of what it is like here, and he thought that was cool. But we had a good conversation, and somehow, I think we were really bonding quite a bit, even thought we were hundreds of miles away.

After I spoke with the kids, I spoke a little bit with Erica, and it was nice. It always comes to the point when it is time to go. Neither of us wants to, but we have to. She has to get the kids in bed, I have to get myself in bed. It makes me sad to say good night, but all day today, I will be looking forward to coming back, eating a quick dinner by myself, and then connecting via FaceTime. It is the reason we have it, I am convinced, and the highlight of my day.

Johnny's Baptism

Sometimes people will mistakenly say, "This is the greatest day of my life" when referring to something that should clearly not be the greatest day of their life. Maybe they are saying it as a joke or maybe they really mean it, I don't know. When I think of the greatest day of my life, it is hard to choose because there have been so many really great days. Some of which have been significant for me personally, like my baptism, or receiving my endowments in the temple, or entering the MTC as my mission began, or triumphantly returning home with honor from my mission (that's how I saw it anyway). Some days aren't just about me, like the first day I met my wife, Erica, or the day she met me at the temple and we were sealed together for time and all eternity. That was a pretty special day. Since then, most of my great days have all revolved around my kids. I can think of 5 pretty great days off the top of my head, the days that each of my children were born. It was love that I had never experienced before when I held each one of my kids for the first time, and I knew I would do anything for them. It was instantaneous, for me, and it was awesome. All of those days are pretty much tied in my book, because, of course, I'm really keeping score. Last Saturday is another day to add to the pile. Last Saturday, my oldest boy was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I don't know if there has ever been a day where I felt happier or more pleased than I did on Saturday. So much so, that I have had a hard time stopping talking about it. I will talk to anyone about it, who will stop long enough to listen.

It was a special feeling to see Johnny all dressed in white, and to stand there and get my picture taken with him. We had practiced the baptism a few times (all dry runs, I promise), but I still felt butterflies. One thing I may have mentioned is that Johnny is deaf, and uses American Sign Language as his primary mode of communication. One of the first things people ask my wife and I when they learn that is if we knew sign language before our kids were born. The answer is no. We did not know that we were each carriers of the same recessive, mutated gene, and that we could possibly pass that down to each of our kids. No one in our family was deaf, so it caught us totally by surprise. That is a post for another time, but for now, let's just leave it at Johnny relies on ASL. Ever since we discovered that he was deaf and ever since we decided to teach him ASL and learn it ourselves, I wanted to baptize him in ASL. I spent the last little while learning the signs for the prayer, but I was still nervous. I felt like I had it, but I was nervous. Not only was I going to sign it, but for the witnesses' sake, I was going to voice it as well. Both needed to be perfect. Let's just say, as I entered the font, there was an endless string of prayer in my heart, that probably sounded frantic and rushed and all strung together. It was the most sincere prayer I have ever offered.

As I held out my hand and helped Johnny down into the font, I felt calmer. Somehow, I knew I had done enough and that this would work out. I looked down at my son, and his smile was literally running from ear to ear. He had no doubts that his dad was going to pull this off. That gave the extra little bit of confidence I needed. I repeated the prayer in both spoken English and ASL. Then I repeated it again because I messed up on one part because I was trying to think in two languages, but the second time was fine, and then Johnny went under and it was done. That was all really great and spiritual, but for me, the best moment came right after, away from everyone else, as Johnny and I went back into the dressing area, and I brought him in for a hug. We were both wet, him more than me, but it didn't matter. I held him for a while, and unlike usual, he didn't pull away. I think we both felt something special and meaningful as we hugged. We both knew what a special day this was.

After the baptism, my heart started racing again, because next was the confirmation, when I would again be signing and speaking. I focused only on the parts I had to get right, and hoped the rest would come. Most of the prayer was blur for me, but it felt right and good, and I felt like I got through it ok. The most important thing is that Johnny understood it. After the whole day was finished, I was just so happy to be just with my family, sharing this special day.

The greatest day ever probably doesn't exist, because I feel like the Lord has blessed me with several days that could all be greatest days ever. It seems like, just when I think he couldn't bless me any more, he gives me another one of these greatest days and reminds me that he can and wants to bless me and each of us.

Geeky Books for Kids: 5 Series to Get Your Kid's Reading Started Off Right

Have you been to the children's section of a book store lately, or maybe your kids' school does one of those book fairs? Look around at those things and notice what passes for children's literature nowadays.  It is basically the same crap the kids watch on TV, now in book form. Of course, the books are always heavily laden with pictures because a lot of book publishers think your kids are too dumb to read a book that doesn't have pictures in it. Of course, with my kids they are probably just assuming that because their dad is too dumb to read a book with no pictures. In any case, it really is unacceptable for geeks to allow their kids to read such sub par books. It is important that our kids learn to read, and more importantly, learn to love to read.  That is really the key. Giving them a book that is based on a cartoon show or a video game will only want to make them watch that cartoon show or play that video game. We need to introduce them to some books that help them use their imaginations and will keep their attention.  Have no fear, your friendly, neighborhood Geeky Dad is here.  I have compiled here a list of 5 series that should be appealing to any geek, and to their children. Reading these books, you will probably be just as entertained as your kids. This is by no means an end all list, in fact I openly recognize that these may not even be the best 5 kids' series out there (Although, I do feel strongly that Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter are probably numbers 1 and 2, respectively). This is just a list of series that hopefully you will enjoy and your kids will enjoy, and hopefully they will want to read more.

Chronicles of Narnia

This classic series by C.S. Lewis is a must read for any geek and their child. It has everything from magic to talking animals to an evil queen to kids being center stage. The heroes being kids is a must for any series written for kids. Kids identify with them better than they do adults, and are more interested in the story at that point. They come away from a story featuring kids feeling like they can do a lot of amazing things, and really, don't we want our kids to feel that way? If you are unfamiliar with the story, it is about some kids who make it into another world called Narnia. There they meet a Lion named Aslan who is the lord of that world and always seems to show up when they need him. The first story involves two brothers and two sisters who make it into Narnia through a magic wardrobe. I read this book when I was younger, and spent about a year looking in the backs of closets and wardrobes for a way into another world. It never worked, unfortunately. I love these books and the morals and values your kids can learn from these books. And Lucy, who is in quite a few of the books, is the best. I just lover her.  Let's just say that it is no coincidence that I have a daughter named Lucy.

Harry Potter

This is the best modern series for kids. Now, the first 2 books are pretty safe for any age group, I think, but be careful as you go further into the series because it does get quite a bit darker as it goes on, so you need to know your kids and what they can handle. Especially the last 3. One thing I like about this book is that it doesn't treat the target audience like they can't handle big things. Death, for example, seems to be something that is usually absent from kids' books, but Harry faces it head on, and I think that's OK. Another thing I really like about the series is that there are well defined good guys, and well defined bad guys, and then there are some folks in between, so you learn not to judge people too quickly. The story basically follows a young boy named Harry Potter, who is an orphan who lives in a cupboard under the stairs at his Aunt and Uncle's house and is not treated well at all. Then, on his 11th birthday he finds out he is really a wizard, and not just any wizard, but he's super famous in the wizarding world. The series follows him as he grows up, each volume following a year in school. The big baddie in the series is Voldemort, and Harry finds himself facing off against him in each book, in some form or another. I would guess that most people who are reading this post are familiar with Harry Potter in some form or another.

The Janitors Series

I am sure, just like me, you used to always look at the janitors in your school and wonder if they weren't really wizards and witches, protecting the school from little creatures who feed off of children's brainwaves. Wait, you didn't think that when you were in school? Neither did I. I don't think anyone did, except Tyler Whitesides, who is the author that brought us this highly imaginative, original idea. When I heard the idea, my first thought was that it was pretty weird. It was weird, and intriguing at the same time. I wanted to see if it was any good, so I borrowed it from the local library, and was very pleasantly surprised. The story sucked me in pretty quick, and, because it is written for a younger audience, it was pretty fast paced. After reading these books, you will never look at janitors at your kids' schools the same way again. You'll always be wondering if they are secret wizards or witches.

Michael Vey

This is the latest effort by famed author Richard Paul Evans. Yes, the guy who wrote The Christmas Box. I'll be honest, I did not know what to think of the idea of reading anything by Richard Paul Evans, and the advertising for this book has been dreadful. There is a YouTube commercial you can find for this book, and it just makes the whole thing feel cheap and just low quality, so that didn't sell me on it either. That being said, i borrowed the first one from the library, and then I couldn't put it down. The story follows a young boy named Michael Vey who has secret powers-he can shock people with his own electricity. Not just like a small static shock, but really shock people. He has no idea why he has these powers, but he and his mom have had to move around and hide to keep him safe. That's how he ends up in Pocatello, ID. Then he discovers that the cute cheerleader at his school also has electric powers like him. The two become friends and begin researching where they came from and what hey might have in common, and that's when the real trouble starts. One of the best things about this book is that Michael has Tourette Syndrome, which I had only seen acted out in movies as crazy people who yell obscenities a lot. This is not like that. He has some nervous ticks he can't always control, but that's it. It seemed pretty legit, and then I found out that the author has it, so it made sense. It adds a new depth to the character, in my opinion.

Skulduggery Pleasant

Have you ever been in a public library and you see a book that looks intriguing and interesting, so you just pick it up and bring it home. I mean, why not? It doesn't cost you anything. That's what happened with this book recently. I saw it sitting there and couldn't pass it up, and I was glad I did. The basic story revolves around a girl named Stephanie whose favorite uncle just died. He was a rich, successful author with a big house and lots of other nice things. All of this he leaves to Stephanie in his will, and none of it to her other uncle and his wife who are greedy and nasty people. While Stephanie is at the reading of her Uncle's will she meets a man who was a friend of her Uncle's. This man is Skulduggery Pleasant. Later she discovers that there is more than meets the eye with Skulduggery, or maybe it is less. She discovers he is a living skeleton, who is also a wizard and a detective. She teams up with him to discover what really happened to her Uncle, and the whole thing is just a fun ride. Skulduggery is full of wit and charm, and has an incredible sense of humor. The story reminded me of the first time I read Harry Potter. I was just swept away into this world of magic and imagination. Plus, Stephanie is the kind of girl character I want my girls to read. The books in the series can be hard to find at your local bookstore, but I found them at my library, which is nice because it costs less than buying the books any way.

There you have it. If you have been looking for some fun series to begin reading with your kids, there are 5 of them. Check them out, they have my official seal of approval. I don't know if that means anything to anyone, but there you have it. What are some of your favorite books you have read with your kids? Let me know in the comments.  I would love to hear about them.

A Golden Night for Geeky Flicks-The Kids Version

For those of you who may have missed, yesterday was the Golden Globes, which goes by some hoity-toity real name, but we will call it the Golden Globes (It's the Hollywood Foreign Press, just in case you thought I didn't know). I don't care much for these kinds of things, award shows, I mean.  Typically, my type of movie doesn't win.  Sure there are exceptions, but by and large, the winners are typically movies or shows that I have never seen and have little desire to see.  Maybe that makes me uncultured. I'm ok with that, so you should be too.

Last night was a little different, especially in the Best Animated Feature category, or as it should be called, the Disney/Pixar Award. The award has been a part of the Golden Globes since 2007, and since then a non-Disney/Pixar film has won the award a grand total of once-when Cars 2 lost out to The Adventures of Tintin.  All the other winners have been Disney/Pixar or Disney. And they have all been not really "geeky" type films.  You can see the list of winners here. But last night was different.

The nominees for Best Animated Feature last night were: How to Train Your Dragon 2, The Lego Movie, Big Hero 6, The Book of Life, and The Box Trolls. The last two are more traditional, non-geeky films, like the previous winners of this  award, but the other three, I would say are pretty geeky, and all pretty good.  Reading over the category, I realized last year was a great year for geeky kids' flicks. You could make an argument for any of these three to be the winner, but I think they got it right when they gave the award to How to Train Your Dragon 2 (only the second non-Disney film to win this award).

I really enjoyed the first How to Train Your Dragon, and the second film was one those rare sequels that's just as good, if not better. The story is awesome just because it involves dragons and vikings. On top of that, though, it has a lot of heart. Hiccup is not your normal viking, but he doesn't let that stop him- he works through it and finds his own place. Plus the film gets a little heavy, when his father dies, but it doesn't over do it. If you haven't seen this film yet, first of all, sorry for the spoiler, and second, go and rent it and watch it. It is beautifully animated and has a great story and deserves to win this award.

On top of that, though, the other two geeky films were pretty fantastic as well. There has never been anything quite like The Lego Movie and it will be hard for anyone to ever replicate that ever. Even the equal will have a hard time capturing the same lightning in a bottle. The movie has it all, likable characters, great humor and Batman. You really can't go wrong, except when I saw the preview I thought it was going to be a disaster. It surprised everyone, I think. Big Hero 6 is what we get when we merge Marvel with Disney and leave Disney in charge-a super hero movie with maybe a little too much heart. It is not a bad movie, by any means, but it just feels weird to me.

The real point here, however, is that we had 3 great geeky kids' movies last year. It is a great time to be a geek, and more than that, it is a great time to be a geeky parent. It is becoming easier for us to find geeky things to expose our children to, in order to raise the next generation of geeks. Really, it is pretty exciting.

What do you think? Did the right animated film win last night? Let us know in the comments below what your thoughts were.

My Kids and Star Wars

One of the main reasons I got married and decided to start having kids was so I could have my own little geek army.  I was going to raise them right and teach them everything I know about everything geeky.  My kids were going to be the coolest kids ever, by being the geekiest kids ever.  I was going to do my younger self proud.  When I was a kid, it wasn't cool to be a geek, so I felt pretty alone in my geekery.  When I grew up, I promised my self that I would never be alone again.  My kids would all appreciate everything I was made fun of for as a kid.

One of the big things that I swore my kids would know was Star Wars.  That was such a big part of my life growing up.  I think we went through a few sets of video cassettes watching those movies.  I loved them.  They shaped a lot about me as kid and a teen and now as an adult. I felt like this was one of the most important randoms I could share with my kids.  As the prequels came out, and I enjoyed them so little, I swore that not only would my kids love Star Wars, but they would do it right, and only enjoy the originals.  Oh to be young and so naive. I had my kids, and I have tried to bring them all up as little geeks.  I tried extra hard to bring them up Star Wars.  I even have photographic evidence:

That's Johnny, Eliza, and Jak, Halloween 2011.  They are the cutest little Star Wars people I have ever seen.  They were excited about these little costumes at the time, but that was really the extent of their Star Wars knowledge and love.  For whatever reason, despite my best efforts, none of the kids seemed that interested in the movies.  At all.  It made me sad, but I never want my kids to feel like I am forcing anything on them.  So, I had to find ways to secretly force Star Wars on them until they loved it.  I would offer to buy them Star Wars toys, and only Star Wars toys.  If they didn't want them, that was fine, but they couldn't have other toys instead.  I tried to trick them into watching the Clone Wars cartoons, but each time the episodes would start, the kids left the room.  Part of me started to feel like I was failing as a father. I mean a minor fail, not like Anakin choking the mother of his children and then becoming a mass murderer kind of a fail as a father.

Then last weekend happened.  We had a Star Wars party at our house.  We invited some friends, and a few even came.  And my kids got really excited for it.  They could not wait to watch Star Wars with my friends.  They all tried to stay up late, but after a week that also included New Year's, it just wasn't happening.  Johnny only made it through A New Hope, before falling asleep.  To my surprise, and delight, he woke up the next day and wanted to start right where he had left off the night before, so I started Empire for him, and he was glued to it, and then devoured Return of the Jedi. He couldn't get enough. He loved it, and I was a proud papa.

Then return of the Jedi was over, and he wanted more.  He knew the prequels existed.  He knew a series doesn't start with 4.  He wanted to watch 1-3.  I caved, and I let him watch the movies.  He wanted me to sit and watch them with him, and I caved again.  I would have killed to have my dad sit down and watch Star Wars with me, so there was no way I was going to deprive my son of that moment.  So I sat and watched the prequels with him.  As I did, I came to some realizations.

First, I realized that my kids would never know Star Wars minus the prequels.  Part of me thinks that's sad, but another part of me doesn't think it's that bad.  For Johnny, the prequels are going to be a part of his growing up like the original trilogy was for me.  Yes, all three movies are totally CGI and Green Screen, which to old time Star Wars fans is blasphemy, but Johnny won't feel that way.  He's used to it.  What movie isn't CGI or green screen now?  That's how our kids will experience movies.  We can like it or not, but it doesn't change the reality.  Him watching those movies that were more what he is used to, helped him bridge a gap to the original trilogy and enjoy those movies more than he would have.

Second, I think I have been overly critical of some things in the prequels.  I make that statement, and then I must clarify.  By no means am I saying that the prequels are as good as the original trilogy, but they're not as bad as we make them out to be either.  Yes, the actors who play Anakin are awful, but they are also kids.  Natalie Portman doesn't give her best performance ever, but it was also her big break.  Watch A New Hope again and try to tell me that Mark Hammil and Carrie Fischer gave Oscar worthy performances.  They didn't.  They were young too.  They got better as the trilogy went on, as does Portman in the prequels.  Guess what, though, your kids don't care.  Kids don't sit down for a movie and say, "That actor moved me."  No, they sit down and want to see action and explosions and bright colors, all of which the prequels deliver.

Third, if I were Johnny's age, I would love all the Star Wars movies too.  Each and every one of them.  To an 8 year old, they are all fantastic and fun movies.  The important thing for me was to experience that magic with my son as he really enjoyed the whole saga for the first time.  He literally just sat for 12 hours over the weekend and stared at these movies, and wanted to watch them again. No, you can pass judgement on my parenting skills and wonder how any parent could let a child sit and watch movies for 12 hours, but it was one of the proudest moments of my life.  My son was a geek, and now we can talk Star Wars, and I am realizing my dream of raising my own geek army.

Now we just need to get our tent and sleeping bags ready for December 2015, so we can camp out for  Force Awakens...

Bringing in the New Year with Kids

Happy 2015, everyone.  I hope you all had a nice evening yesterday and enjoyed your New Year's activities.  Believe it or not, we didn't party too hard at our house.  With 5 kids, the party tends to revolve around them instead of  you, and when the party revolves around 5 kids ranging in age from 8 to 2, it tends to be pretty tame.  The good news for Erica and I is that we weren't big party animals before we got married and took on the responsibility to replenish the human race by ourselves, so it hasn't been a huge adjustment to stay in and "party" with the kids.

This year, Erica wanted to add something new, and it was kind of cool.  We went through a list of questions with each of the 3 oldest kids and typed up their answers, so we can save them for posterity.  The questions were things like "What was your favorite memory from 2014" or "What was your favorite food." It was fun for the kids, because it was all about them, and it will be fun for us and hopefully them, as they get older to look back on what their answers were.  If we keep it up from year to year, then we will be able to see how they're growing and changing with time.  We also asked them what they were looking forward to in 2015.  We got some good answers as Johnny is looking forward to his baptism and Jak is looking forward to starting school.  We also had them set some goals, things they wanted to work on in 2015.  It was a lot of fun.

After we did that, then the party began.  I had gone earlier in the day to buy a bunch of snacks and treats for our New Year's Eve party, so I got all of that stuff out, and we brought it downstairs. The kids made up some beds on the couch and on their bean bag chairs on the floor. Then we settled in to watch movies until 2015 hit. The first movie we watched was The Incredibles, which is my favorite Pixar flick.  Hands down.  The kids weren't excited at first because it's not they are as familiar with, but once we started it, they were really enjoying it.  After that film finished we purchased How to Train Your Dragon 2 from iTunes and watched that.  Johnny was way excited.  He loves those movies.  That was pretty much our evening.

All the kids planned on staying up until midnight.  The 3 older kids get that that's what you are supposed to do on New Year's, so they all wanted to do it.  Lucy is always just glad to stay up as late as we will let her.  Before the night began, my wife and I engaged in our favorite New Year's game.  We took bets on who was going to last until when.  My money was on only Eliza making it all the way to the end.  Of course, at the time Lucy was already asleep, and I thought she was down for the count.

 Once our bets were placed, then the fun begins. Watching the kids go down and out one by one.  Maren didn't count.  We brought her upstairs and put her in bed.  She didn't have a choice.  Jak was the first to fall out.  He fell asleep in the middle of the entry way to our family room in the basement, which was probably the most inconvenient spot, but we didn't want to risk moving him, so we left him there, and spent the rest of the night stepping over him. This was about halfway through the first movie.

About this same time, Lucy woke up from her nap.  At that point, I knew she was going to make to the end.  She was now fully rested and ready to go.  At the end of The Incredibles, Johnny, Eliza and Lucy were still going.  So we started the next film, which Johnny picked. Then he proceeded to fall asleep about halfway through.  He loves the Dragon movies, but he was also tired.  My boys do not do late nights very well.  When they are tired, they go to sleep, and it rarely happens that they stay up or awake later than 9 or 9:30.  Jak and Johnny were out, it was now just Erica and I  and the 2 girls.

We only had about an hour left, so we didn't want to start another movie that would tempt Eliza to want to stay up later than midnight.  Instead, we picked an episode of the BBC's Top Gear.  Yes, we love that show.  It can be pretty hilarious, and the episode we watched was pretty good.  It finished right about midnight, so once it was through, we just waited a few minutes and then said  Happy New Year to each other, and Lucy and Eliza, who had both made it.  At that point, I brought Lucy upstairs to put her in bed, and she wasn't happy about that.  She didn't want to go to bed, she wanted to stay up.  She cried for about 30 seconds, then her head hit the pillow and she was out.  Eliza wanted to watch something more on Netflix, so we started something for her and we went to bed.  I don't think she made it very far into whatever she was watching before she was asleep.

That was our exciting New Year's Eve.  I loved it.  We were all safely at home, we had fun, and the kids I think will remember that kind of stuff as they grow up, and hopefully look back on it.  As I was going upstairs to bed, I thought about my trip to Walmart earlier in the evening.  The guy ringing up my groceries asked if I had anything fun planned, and I told him I was just spending it with the wife and kids.  Then he asked if I was going to get wasted.  Uh...No.  Then he proceeded to tell me that he was going to get wasted, it was one of only like 5 nights of the year that he gets wasted.  Sounds great, I hope he enjoyed it.  I would rather spend the evening with the people that matter the most to me sipping my pink lemonade.  To me, that's living life.