Sunday Night Flicks: Back to the Future

In a continuing effort to expose my children to more than just the stuff that's on today, we are choosing a different movie each week that we think they might kind of enjoy. This week was Back to the Future. I would like to take full credit for selecting this movie and making my kids sit down and watch. This was an absolute favorite when I was a kid. It was just so cool. I wanted to be Marty McFly when I grew up. Who wouldn't want to be him? He was just so cool. In fact, I distinctly remember a period of my life where I was slightly angry with my parents because they did not name me something cool like Marty. Or maybe Jason, but that's not related to this at all, so I probably shunt have mentioned it. Not only was the premise to the film cool- Kid gets accidentally sent back to the past, where he runs into his parents and has to find a way to get the two of them together and find a way to get back to the future- but the way he went back in time was awesome. He was trying to get away from Libyan terrorists in a Delorean that is also a time machine. I was convinced that the Deloran was the coolest car ever when I was a kid. When Doc mentions something about if you're going back in time, you might as well go back in style, he wasn't lying. I loved all three BTTF movies. They really were such a big part of my growing up. For all of those reasons, I wish I had thought of this movie being our second attempt at Sunday Night Flicks, but it was my wife's idea. And of course it was, because, well, my wife is cooler than yours. When she suggested it, I was totally on board with the idea.

My kids loved last week's Sunday Night Flick, so when I suggested doing it again, they were totally stoked. This time, they didn't care what the movie was. I told them anyway. Johnny thought it sounded awesome, while Eliza just asked if it was funny. I told her it was, and then hoped at least some of the jokes wouldn't be over her head. Fortunately for me, anytime someone falls over while trying to put pants on, and they have purple underwear, she thinks it's hilarious (it happens more often than you'd think). Overall, the kids liked the movie, although it took them a little bit to get the concept of time travel, which was surprising since they have watched so much Doctor Who with me. Maybe I should have explained that the car was like Marty's TARDIS. Maybe that would have caught them on to it more quickly.

I wish I could say that this week went as smoothly as last week, but unfortunately, it didn't. Jak was not interested at all in the movie, which is fine. He usually isn't, and we don't try to force him. That wasn't why it didn't go as smoothly. No, the problem this time was equipment. I think our Blu ray player is getting older and had been well used. I mean it is going on 5 years, which for cheap tech nowadays, is more than a life time. It had a hard time reading the disc. We would get a little bit into the film, and then it would just freeze. We tried cleaning the disc and starting it from where we left off, and then it would just freeze again. Now, if you have ever been in a similar situation as this, with 5 children, then you'll know how well kids remain patient. I mean my kids just sat there quietly while we tried to get it to work and politely asked to help. And then monkeys began flying out of my posterior (Garth). What really happened is that the kids were so excited about the whole thing, that when the movie stopped working, they had not choice but begin running around the family room and jump on our sectional and start our very own version of the latest WWE pay per view. That's what kids do when they are expecting to be entertained, and all of a sudden the entertainment stops working. The good news is that I actually find all of that chaos very therapeutic and calming so it really helped me work through trying to get the Blu ray player to work without getting frustrated at all. After messing with it for 20 minutes, and just before the kids' main event, which was going to have Johnny facing off against Jak for the Dietz Family Heavyweight Championship, I decided to just download the movie from iTunes. Which worked like a charm.

This is how good Back to the Future is: I started the movie off where we had left off, the kids immediately sat down and were quiet and glued again to the TV. That is being written, by the way, with no sarcasm. That is honestly what happened. That is the mark of an exceptional film, at least by our standards. It's like this: I would give that movie 2 out of 5 kids- in other words it got 2 of my 5 kids to sit down and watch it. Forget stars, that's how I rank movies. How many of my children will the movie hold captivated for the length of the movie? If it's less than 3, it's not worth my time. This movie got 4 out of 5 kids sitting and watching it. We have only come across a few 5 kid movies: My Neighbor Totoro, Frozen, and Hal's Moving Castle. Those are truly magical films because they keep the other kids sitting and watching, and Jak is even interested. 4 out of 5 isn't bad, though. Even my little 2 year-old was just sitting on my lap for the whole movie and was glued to it. So, despite the 20 minute forced intermission, it worked out well.

Now how's this for a truly geeky moment: As I was watching the movie, we had just had Stake Conference and one of the speakers had spoken about Family History. So, as I was watching BTTF, I kept thinking, this a really good endorsement for the importance of Family History. Marty had a whole new respect for his parents as he got to know them. It made me want to go out and do my own Family History. I just have to remember where I parked my time machine...

Jak-isms: I don't do Well with Change

Jak was facing a real challenge at the beginning of this year. He had just finished his first year in primary, and he was loving life as a Sunbeam. He even loved the Sunbeam theme song and would often pick it for our family home evenings. When he did, and we sang it, it was always with vigor. He loved his teachers in his Sunbeams class and he loved his classmates. After a year, he finally had this whole primary thing down. He was finally comfortable. This was both good and bad, and ultimately what was leading to his challenge. Jak likes being comfortable. He likes a routine. He likes when what happens this Sunday is the same thing that happens every Sunday. He does not like when it all changes. We know this about Jak, so we began to prepare him in November for the change that we knew was coming in January, hoping that having knowledge beforehand would help to begin to cope with it all now, and be ready for the change, and maybe even embrace it.

The week leading up to the big change, we really pushed it hard. We reminded him everyday that the change was coming, but that it was a good change, an exciting change. About Thursday or Friday, Jak had had enough. He was tired of hearing about his new class and how great it would be, and he just cracked. He got angry at me when I brought it up again. I asked him what was wrong, and at first he wouldn't look at me. If I tried to position myself so he was looking at me, he would just rotate himself so he wasn't. Finally, I asked him again what was wrong, and he answered. In his quiet little Jak voice, he mumbled, while looking at the floor, "Daddy, I just don't do well with change." That may have been an understatement, and something we all knew. The important thing, though, was that he knew. He recognized in himself that he doesn't do well with change.

When I say he doesn't like when things are different, when things change up all of a sudden, you're probably thinking, well duh! Who does like constant change? No one really enjoys it when things change, but we all learn to adapt, and sometimes we even appreciate it. That's not Jak. One might argue that he's still a kid, so it's pretty typical, and maybe that's true too, but I have four other kids, and they all deal with change a lot better than Jak does. Let me give you some examples of how Jak copes with change, or doesn't.

Jack goes to bed at pretty much the same time every night. We don't have to put him in bed, he just goes. He walks into his bedroom and climbs under his Superman blanket, the only one he will sleep with, and lays his head down on his pillow pet, the only pillow he will use, and goes to sleep. Jak also gets up at the same time each morning. Unfortunately for us, that time is 5:00. Well, I should say, unfortunately for my wife, because Jak won't let anyone else get him a drink, or help him get dressed or do anything. Only Mom. Jak only likes to wear Superman shirts. No other superheroes, especially not Batman. And the examples go on and on. He doesn't just not like change, he lives in a world where change doesn't happen. Or at least he would like to think he does.

The truth is, none of us lives in a world where change does not happen. We all live in a world where change happens constantly. There is no way around it. Jak has to learn how to adjust, but how do we help him learn that? When he is faced with change, especially sudden change, it isn't just a grumpy reaction, it can be an all out temper tantrum. He goes into this mode where he almost forgets that the rest of the world exists, maybe even that he exists. He just cries and moans, and he doesn't stop until, well he stops. You can't distract him from it or really do anything to make it better. You just have to wait and ride it out. That's all you can do. That makes it tough.

If we know the change is coming then we can help him prepare for the change, but sometimes we don't know when the change is coming. Besides that, Jak can't keep throwing a fit every time something happens. I think on some level he knows this. That's why he recognizes that he doesn't do well with change, and he needs to change that. We just get stuck on how.  I guess the only thing we can do is just be patient with him and keep helping him through the changes.

Once he accepts whatever is new, he is fine. It's just getting him to that point. When he mentioned the other day that he didn't do well with change, it reminded me how special this little boy really is. Sometimes, we as parents forget how special each of our kids are when we find ourselves in moments like temper tantrums. I know I do. But this was a little thing that reminded me that Jak doesn't quite see the world the same way most people do. And that makes him pretty fantastic.

Sunday Night Flicks: The Princess Bride

Some of my fondest memories growing up revolve around our old tube TV and VCR and sitting down with my family to enjoy a great movie. In fact, almost all of my favorite memories growing revolve around good movies and good company. There was something special about going on a Friday night to the local Video store to pick out a movie or two and then coming home and watching it. Staying up late, bringing out all the blankets from your bedroom and making a big pile of blankets and pillows on the floor, lying on your stomach, head perched on your hands, kicking your feet back and forth and watching those opening credits. It was almost always magical. In some ways, kids today will never experience that kind of magic. Their idea of movie night is sitting down with the iPad and selecting a show to watch on Netflix, and their movie night happens every night, and is rarely together. They will never know the joys of going to the video store, spending an hour at least trying to find the perfect film. I remember browsing for so long  thinking about trying something new, but often times, I would settle for an old favorite. My favorite movies were like good friends. I know that sounds sad, but I don't think I minded.

Sunday Night Flicks is my attempt to get some of that magic back. I think part of the magic was more than just the experience. Part of the magic were the great films we watched. I want my kids to experience those films. I want my kids to be the kids who look down on other kids who don't know classic films. I want my kids to appreciate a good film for being a good film, and not just the latest and greatest. In short, I want my kids to be geeks like me. I don't think it's too much to ask.

The Princess Bride was one of those old favorites for me. If I couldn't find something new at the video store, I would pick this film. Eventually, we owned it on VHS (ahhh, the glory of VHS), and the case quickly became battered and well worn as we watched it over and over again. I could recite almost the whole film from start to finish. I would run through the house with anything I could find that resembled a sword and yell, "Hello, you killed my father, prepare to die!" It was just such a big part of my childhood, that I felt it was an appropriate place to start with my kids. And, we had just bought it on iTunes and watched it for Valentine's. Let's be honest, there is nothing wrong with watching The Princess Bride two days in a row.

The key was finding a way to entice the kids to watch it. My kids rarely agree on anything when it comes to watching a movie. Plus, they rarely want to watch something not animated. We can talk about all the ways I have obviously failed as a parent later. I'm working on it. I started with my oldest daughter, Eliza. She was going to be the easiest sell. I asked her if she wanted to watch a princess movie. Before I could say anything else, she was on board. No problem. She loves all things princess, and I like to show her princess stuff that isn't Disney. Like Star Wars (wait...well it didn't start out as Disney).

Next, I had to convince my oldest child, Johnny. I wasn't sure how to do it. I knew he would love the movie, but he had to get past all the kissing and stupid stuff like that.  Then I remembered the way the Grandpa in the film convinced the Grandson to listen to the book. I asked Johnny if he wanted watch a movie with sword fighting, and giants, and a fire swamp, and pirates. He just kept getting more and more excited as I added more things to what was in the film. He was sold. The other kids would fall in line as long as the oldest 2 were on board.

Then we started the film. At first, I think Johnny agreed with the Grandson. He thought I had tricked him. Eliza loved the whole "As you wish" thing and started repeating it over and over. Except when I asked her to do something for me. Then she only remembered how to say no. Apparently she doesn't love me. Johnny was about to be bored and ready to walk away, about the time that Buttercup runs into the 3 kidnappers. Now, i am going to assume that most of you have seen this film, so I am going to be pretty free with any spoilers. Anyway, as they kidnapped the princess, Johnny was suddenly interested again. When she jumped overboard and the eels started circling her, both Johnny and Eliza were on the edge of their seats.

Johnny thought the Man-in-Black was pretty much the coolest guy ever as he beat Inigo in their awesome sword fight, and then when he beat Fezzik. Johnny thought he was pretty much a superhero at that point. Eliza was thrilled when he turned out to be Westley, because she thought he had died. I thought that was funny, because I always thought that it was pretty obvious that he was Wesley from the beginning. I guess not when you're a kid and this is the first time you have seen the show. They enjoyed every minute of the film, and something fun happened as we watched it. We all started out in different spots on our sectional, but by the end, we were all cuddled up together.

As I sat there with my kids all around me and my wife and I only separated by a two-year old, I thought about how good movies always did this when I was I kid. They brought us closer together. They gave us inside jokes to enjoy together, they gave us laugh and tear together and all-around gave us a common experience that brought our family together. That was what was happening now with my young family. It gave me a thrill to see that they were enjoying this movie as much as I did as a kid. After the movie, I asked they liked it. Eliza said yes right away. Johnny kind of shrugged his shoulders, like he didn't care or he was too cool for it, but the smile on his face gave it away. The best indicator was that they wanted to watch it again tonight.

I can't wait to show them more great movies. Each week will be anew experience and hopefully it will bring us closer together as a family. Hopefully, it will help my kids to appreciate really good movies with really good stories. Hopefully, it will make them want to tell really good stories. Who knows. Mostly, I hope it will be fun, and someday, maybe they will have blogs of their own where they write about stupid little stuff like this that always seems to mean so much more than the big stuff.

Why FaceTime was Invented

When I was a kid and my dad would travel for work, we would rarely hear much from him until he got back from the trip. At that time, most hotels charged quite a bit for long distance phone calls, so it was always impractical for him to call. It wasn't a big deal, it was just the way it was. Think about how it was before we had the phone. A phone call wasn't even possible.  You would wait for a letter at best. That would just stink. I don't know how they did it back then. I don't even know how my dad did it when he traveled.

Today, at the very least, most people probably have a cell phone with unlimited minutes or something. But the best thing for the traveling family man is FaceTime. It could be Skype too, they pretty much work the same. I believe, whatever else Apple might tell you, that the reason FaceTime was invented was so I can sit in my hotel room at night, and not just talk to my kids, but see them and interact with them almost as if I were in the same room with them. It is the highlight of my day. Let me paint a picture for you of what happened yesterday when I got to FaceTime with the family.

My wife was the first person I saw, which is always a treat. On the one hand, FaceTime makes me miss her less. On the other, it makes me want to be there with her even more. She was sitting with Lucy, who had come home form school in the afternoon and immediately stripped down to just her diaper (her daily routine), and was still sitting in just a diaper. She looked up and saw me on my wife's phone, and her face immediately lit up. She started waving and then we spent a couple of minutes making faces at each other, one of our favorite games. Lucy is deaf like her older brother and older sister, so I signed a little bit to her, and then I finally spoke and said something to Erica. That's when I heard a noise of excitement from another child.

Up to that point, Maren had been unaware of the fact that I had been on the phone, but when she heard my voice, she was immediately front and center. When we FaceTime, she becomes a phone hog. She doesn't like to share the phone with anyone. She is the youngest, and doesn't have much to say. She just smiles and laughs while I talk to her. Or she shows me whatever it is that she was doing, whether it be reading a book (Frozen, she loves Olaf) or playing a game on the iPad. She can't wait to show me. Sometimes, she just takes the phone, and then lies down with it and just looks at me. Whatever she does, it is cute and it makes me happy that I can see her.

After we somehow got the phone from Maren, it was Jak's turn. I didn't get tot see Jake the night before, because he had already gone to bed. Sometimes, when he's tired, he just goes of by himself and goes to bed. It's kind of the coolest trick any of my kids knows how to do. Last night, he was awake though, and had plenty to say. He told me every single thing he did that day. Everything. What he ate, what he played, what he watched, all of it. Simply because I asked him what he did that day. He told me in every detail, as only Jak could.

Throughout all of this, one little head kept popping up behind everyone. Eliza. She was not-so-patiently waiting for her turn. Popping in and out of everyone else's conversation. She doesn't tell me what she did during the day, or what she ate, she likes to make me guess. She hasn't quite learned that usually when people say "Guess what...", they're just starting a conversation. No, she thinks you're really supposed to guess. Sometimes, my wife has told me in advance some of the answers, like what they had for dinner or what special thing she brought home from school. If not, then I have to really try to guess a couple of times before I get the answer. It's funny. Usually, our conversation goes until I start asking her about her homework, which is never finished by that point, so she decides it's someone else's turn.

It has been funny with Johnny. On this trip, he has seemed more interested in the FaceTime than ever, and honestly, more interested in talking to me. Last night he wanted to know all about my favorite food. The night before, it was all about dinosaurs. I also showed some pictures of the cable cars I get to ride up to my hotel each night, and a picture of Nob Hill so he could get some idea of what it is like here, and he thought that was cool. But we had a good conversation, and somehow, I think we were really bonding quite a bit, even thought we were hundreds of miles away.

After I spoke with the kids, I spoke a little bit with Erica, and it was nice. It always comes to the point when it is time to go. Neither of us wants to, but we have to. She has to get the kids in bed, I have to get myself in bed. It makes me sad to say good night, but all day today, I will be looking forward to coming back, eating a quick dinner by myself, and then connecting via FaceTime. It is the reason we have it, I am convinced, and the highlight of my day.

Johnny's Baptism

Sometimes people will mistakenly say, "This is the greatest day of my life" when referring to something that should clearly not be the greatest day of their life. Maybe they are saying it as a joke or maybe they really mean it, I don't know. When I think of the greatest day of my life, it is hard to choose because there have been so many really great days. Some of which have been significant for me personally, like my baptism, or receiving my endowments in the temple, or entering the MTC as my mission began, or triumphantly returning home with honor from my mission (that's how I saw it anyway). Some days aren't just about me, like the first day I met my wife, Erica, or the day she met me at the temple and we were sealed together for time and all eternity. That was a pretty special day. Since then, most of my great days have all revolved around my kids. I can think of 5 pretty great days off the top of my head, the days that each of my children were born. It was love that I had never experienced before when I held each one of my kids for the first time, and I knew I would do anything for them. It was instantaneous, for me, and it was awesome. All of those days are pretty much tied in my book, because, of course, I'm really keeping score. Last Saturday is another day to add to the pile. Last Saturday, my oldest boy was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I don't know if there has ever been a day where I felt happier or more pleased than I did on Saturday. So much so, that I have had a hard time stopping talking about it. I will talk to anyone about it, who will stop long enough to listen.

It was a special feeling to see Johnny all dressed in white, and to stand there and get my picture taken with him. We had practiced the baptism a few times (all dry runs, I promise), but I still felt butterflies. One thing I may have mentioned is that Johnny is deaf, and uses American Sign Language as his primary mode of communication. One of the first things people ask my wife and I when they learn that is if we knew sign language before our kids were born. The answer is no. We did not know that we were each carriers of the same recessive, mutated gene, and that we could possibly pass that down to each of our kids. No one in our family was deaf, so it caught us totally by surprise. That is a post for another time, but for now, let's just leave it at Johnny relies on ASL. Ever since we discovered that he was deaf and ever since we decided to teach him ASL and learn it ourselves, I wanted to baptize him in ASL. I spent the last little while learning the signs for the prayer, but I was still nervous. I felt like I had it, but I was nervous. Not only was I going to sign it, but for the witnesses' sake, I was going to voice it as well. Both needed to be perfect. Let's just say, as I entered the font, there was an endless string of prayer in my heart, that probably sounded frantic and rushed and all strung together. It was the most sincere prayer I have ever offered.

As I held out my hand and helped Johnny down into the font, I felt calmer. Somehow, I knew I had done enough and that this would work out. I looked down at my son, and his smile was literally running from ear to ear. He had no doubts that his dad was going to pull this off. That gave the extra little bit of confidence I needed. I repeated the prayer in both spoken English and ASL. Then I repeated it again because I messed up on one part because I was trying to think in two languages, but the second time was fine, and then Johnny went under and it was done. That was all really great and spiritual, but for me, the best moment came right after, away from everyone else, as Johnny and I went back into the dressing area, and I brought him in for a hug. We were both wet, him more than me, but it didn't matter. I held him for a while, and unlike usual, he didn't pull away. I think we both felt something special and meaningful as we hugged. We both knew what a special day this was.

After the baptism, my heart started racing again, because next was the confirmation, when I would again be signing and speaking. I focused only on the parts I had to get right, and hoped the rest would come. Most of the prayer was blur for me, but it felt right and good, and I felt like I got through it ok. The most important thing is that Johnny understood it. After the whole day was finished, I was just so happy to be just with my family, sharing this special day.

The greatest day ever probably doesn't exist, because I feel like the Lord has blessed me with several days that could all be greatest days ever. It seems like, just when I think he couldn't bless me any more, he gives me another one of these greatest days and reminds me that he can and wants to bless me and each of us.